MLB Promises Next Season Will Be Even More Predictable

This article is about the upcoming baseball season and how it is bound to be as boring and predictable as it always is. It plays fun at the fact that baseball basically sends the same 7 teams or so to the playoffs each year (New York, Boston, Atlanta, etc.), basically the same players put up big numbers each year, and that the same teams get to spend the most money each year. It makes it seem that the league is very happy with it's present state according to the commissioner and various managers. This article is very funny because it shows that if you look at the MLB very closely, it turns out to be a big joke. Not every team gets the same opportunities as others do, and this fact is often overlooked. This article is Horation Satire because it is a playful beating of MLB and it's customs rather than harsh criticisms. A couple of quotes really stuck to me and made me laugh. "Lee, Ramirez, Zambrano, Jones, Hernandez," Selig said. "Players with those names alone will account for a combined 247 home runs and a total of 92 wins." This is said for the fact the primarily foreign players are backing an American made sport and that you always see the same names putting up big numbers. "Ken Griffey Jr. will tear a hamstring within the first week of the season. "There is no harbinger of spring quite like the sight of Junior writhing in pain on the outfield grass after a routine play," Selig said. This is particularly funny because it seems that Griffey gets injured every year with the same injury and it seems that without his regular injury, baseball can not go on. This was probably one of the best articles I've read in a while and it has officially turned me into an Onion reader.